Remeber Hockey in Chicago?

Admittedly, this is the All-Star Game, and it's in the United Center as opposed to the old Chicago Stadium, but: Wayne Messmer!




(HT to Going Five Hole for reminding me this YouTube video existed.)

This is the Jump.

Merry Christmas

For my holiday project, I decided to watch all 6 Christmas-adjacent episodes of The West Wing. Only 6, as the 7th season had a wedding episode in the slot that a Christmas episode was normally in, and I don't remember it being at all Christmas-y. I did this because there's something wrong with me. In any event, I did it. Then I remembered I had a blog gathering dust, and realized I could commemorate this event. So, in reverse quality order, they are:

6th Place: Abu el Banat (Season 5)

I didn't hate this episode as much as I hated a lot of season 5. That's the best I can say about it. Grandkid Bartlet not being prepared to flip the Christmas tree switch was enh, the bit about assisted suicide wasn't developed in any interesting way, and the CGI Christmas tree at the end of the episode was borderline offensive in its fakeness. You had to zoom UP from Jed and Grandkid Bartlet turning the tree on and off? Really? You couldn't pull back to the whole of the White House with the tree blinking on and off? It's the only bit that the kid was vaguely charismatic at, and I liked where Jed was at, bringing him out there, and then I get all pissed off about the tree looking awful. I liked well enough the "Bartlet Family Can't Seem To Eat Together" subplot, but it wasn't anything new, and I hated-hated-hated the dumb son-in-law that wanted to run for Congress.

Oh, and apparently there was a subplot about missionaries being arrested in the Sudan or something. Clearly, that wasn't memorable. I guess I was pleased that the characters I liked were being who I recognized, more or less. Season 5 was a parade of characters saying things that kind-of-but-not-totally sounded like their usual selves. (It was, as you recall, the first season that Sorkin didn't write.) I've now wracked my brain for a few minutes, and gone back to the recap, and I can't think of anything specifically nice to say about this episode other than I didn't hate it. Oh, well, at least it's out of the way. Toby moves Will out of the West Wing because he works for VPOTUS Bob in this episode. It's very Cranky Toby v. Passive-Agressive Will, and I don't like THAT either.

5th Place: Impact Winter (Season 6)

The good news: Josh and Leo have the conversation about finding The Guy (who turns out, of course to be Jimmy Smits), and it's a delightful little exercise. Josh manages to be his post-Sorkin single-level self (frazzled to a degree that edges towards incompetent), which is always disappointing, but it's not egregious. There's a bit about an asteroid which actually involves a couple pretty funny exchanges, even if they're totally drama-free. No rational individual ever thought for a single instant that there would be any resolution other than "It missed us! The world didn't end!"for that storyline. President Bartlet visits the former location of Cleveland? The rest of the season is filmed darker, with everyone wearing parkas, as soot blocks out the sun? Daring, but unlikely.

The bad news: Donna quits, which is interesting dramatically and is character-driven, but the really obscene part is that they put a sassy temp in her position. A sassy temp who seems to have no idea how the White House works or that it's even, you know, an important place. It's super lazy and a dumb throw-in bit, and while I get that there has to be some evidence that she's left, it doesn't have to be a scene that doesn't make any sense at all. You'd think that the temp they'd hire would need stratospherically high security clearance and therefore be at least vaguely qualified to work in the West Wing and not, when requested to book the next available flight to Houston, respond, "Texas?" and then "hang on, hang on, let me get a pen..." This may be one of my top 10 least favorite moments in the show ever. The only reason this doesn't torpedo the whole episode:

The Curtis: I love Curtis and the Prez. They should have their own show. In the beginning of the episode, where the temporarily paralyzed Bartlet and Curtis "make a jailbreak" off of Air Force One is one of my top 10 most favorite moments. Maybe it's that Martin Sheen plays the weakness-and-power mixture so damn well, or that the actor playing Curtis is so damn earnest, or if it's something else, but this moves the episode into the 4th spot, if not for the bit about the temp and the drama-less asteroid drama. Meanwhile, the bit with Jed and Abby in the hotel where they both end up sitting on the bathroom floor with Jed raging about his paralysis is something I've almost taken for granted from Martin Sheen, but is really damn good, too. Still not enough to overcome the asteroid and the dumb-ass temp.

Oh, and also: the negotiations with China (the reason that Curtis had to carry Jed off of AF1) were so-so. But the end of the episode was deliciously drama-filled as the president collapsed as CJ was on the phone celebrating with Leo, and CJ and Toby get to be framed in a doorway (hallway?) as Abby shuts the office door on them. It's, again, an okay episode. I remembered that Kristin Chenoweth ducks under an open filing cabinet in this episode while avoiding briefing the press, and while the institutional terror of the press is a bit of a crutch (Afraid of The Press: Annabeth, Will, kind-of Toby. Terrible with The Press: Josh, kind-of Toby. Good with The Press: CJ... and that's it.), I like the visual gag. Congrats, episode, you just tied for 4th.

T-4th Place: Holy Night (Season 4)

Toby and Toby's Dad are good, and a reasonably charted sub-plot. Whiffenpoofs, snowed-in, Leo and Jed are troubled by the assassination of the Saudi Fauxrabian defense minister, so they make Josh do a lot of last-minute busywork. (Church of the Nativity repairs/infant mortality in the HHS budget) Oh, Dr. Stanley's back: I love Stanley, even if he's only in this episode so Jed can talk at someone and brag about his SAT score. We get good Sorkin lines like "pregnancy is a binary state," and "You said, 'no no no no, no.' Then you called me Mr. Justice." Danny's also back. As Santa Claus! Yay! And he's probably figured out about the Saudi Fauxrabian guy! Yay? In an unlikely-but-well-written-so-it's-almost-of-plausible way. But I like Timothy Busfield, so I'll allow it.

Honestly? I watched these in reverse chronological order, so I was just glad to have Sorkin's voice behind the characters again. Seasons 5-7 were always a little weird with somebody else writing the main characters. 7 was the best of the bunch because Vinick and Santos and Friends were new characters, so it was harder to say "Well, that doesn't sound like Leo/Josh/CJ/Donna/Jed/et cetera." It's tied for fourth, but there's a distinct gap between Holy Night and the third-place episode.

The top three I'll get to on Christmas proper, because I'm kind of tired.

This is the Jump.

There's No Reason I've Left My Blog To Moulder

So the blog-o-sphere is aware, I'm writing this entry to avoid writing my personal statement for my grad school application. If I have any more difficulty figuring out what to write about, I'm going to actually clean my room. And if that doesn't work, I'm going to take the room apart and rebuild it with recessed bookcases and secret passageways. Since my room is approximately 5 feet by 6 feet, these plans will either a) require acquisition of parts of Ryan's room or b) leave me with a space the size of a coffin. Cheery!

However, there's no good reason that I haven't updated this or It's Still Football since August. We even got an e-mail from Brett Dietz asking where we've been. So, perhaps I'll work on that, too. Clearly I'm going to mention ISF in my personal statement, as it's one more example of why I live my life by the axiom of "It seemed like a good idea at the time." If families still had mottos, going forward, mine would be "Is Videor a Parilis a Bonus Informatio Procul Vicis." Or something. Free web translators give me both the heebies and the jeebies.

Leaving aside the fact that it sounds like I don't know what I'm doing, that'd be an hilarious inclusion in said essay. Right now, it looks like this:

I’m sure there are tons of applicants and aspiring producers who will say that they’re business-savvy, tenacious, creative, and hungry. While I’m all of those things (indeed, I am literally hungry as I write this), I am also batshit insane.

While certainly humorous, I don't think it's the wisest strategy I've ever had.

It's also not that humorous.

This is the Jump.

My Office Blocks Blogger

Hello, zero people who read my blog. Countrywide has decided to block Blogger, so I can't kill twenty minutes writing something amusing. So, that's that update. Also, It's Still Football has been busy with our tickets to the Arena Bowl, which has made updates to this less critical. A side effect of the Arena Football focus is that I haven't had much going on to blog about on this side.

In other news, I was having a discussion over AIM with a friend, and she asked, "why do men always prefer the super skinny blond floridian type who prefer books like The DaVinci Code and like Dave Matthews Band?" Now, I don't mind The DaVinci Code, and as I recall, there were a lot of people once upon a time who thought that Dave was one step removed from the Second Coming. If he had written a song about his battles with Stigmata, it would've been ON. But the point's still valid: what's up with those girls? My immediate jokey response was, "Well, not all men like that. For example, I prefer redheads." But I managed to get a pithy philosophical argument out there, and that was this:

"If you're looking for a guy who's not a challenge, you're going to see a lot of girls who don't challenge themselves. Does that make sense?"

I'm not totally sure what I mean by that, but I thought it sounded very Zen. And so it goes on my Wall of Miscellaneous Ramblings.

This is the Jump.

When I Grow Up

An addition to the list of People I Want To Be When I Grow Up:

Mark McKinney. Not only worthy of rescue from the Studio 60 Island of Death, but insanely enjoyable in Slings and Arrows. I don't remember his years on Saturday Night Live, but there's the whole Kids in the Hall thing. I'm adding him to the emulation list, which needs reviewing anyway.

By the way, if you haven't watched Slings and Arrows, you're doing yourself a disservice of the highest order.

Oh, and I broke my foot over the weekend.

This is the Jump.

You Have Failed Me For the Last Time (Probably.)

Dammit, Aaron Sorkin, you and I are through. I'm breaking up with you. It was good for a while; we had a lot of good times, you and I. Your friends Tommy Schlamme and Snuffy Walden were cool to hang around with, and they brought a lot to the table, but it's just not working anymore.

I just got done watching the series finale of Studio 60, and this is the decision that I have made. Much like actual breakups, I miss the way things were, but you can't reclaim the past. The potential for greatness remained, but it's just not the same. Suddenly, there were obvious axes to grind and morality to preach and a really boring/irritating relationship arc to get bogged down in. Everything was so promising, and for a while, I thought it could be like it was in the past, but alas... Somewhere, buried, is the stuff that made me want to work on a Sorkin show so badly I'd stab a man, but it's not that sort of relationship anymore. Lately, all we do is fight, and I rail against the fates asking why things can't be the way they used to be. I'll pop in the West Wing DVDs, or hunt for Sports Night, or even gain some solace in the bits of S60 that were good. All it does, though, is prompt me to ask why it can't be like that all the time.

This is all probably a pointless excercise: I'd probably come back to Sorkin, if given the option. You don't forget that kind of thing, and there's always, quietly, the hope that you can get back to where you were when things were good. Josh Malina's going to come walking down the hall, talking quirkily with Brad Whitford, and it'll be like nothing ever changed. But you can't count on that, and I've gotten mad too many times at Sarah Paulson and Matthew Perry barely salvaging conversations that real people don't have to fall back into it that easily. Sorkin's going to have to prove to me that it can consistently be like it used to be, or that we can at least meet somewhere in the middle. Perhaps I'll see other television shows for a while, but when the name comes up on my screen, it's likely that it'll still hurt. We'll see. I don't wish him ill - I just want it to be better.

Sorry, Aaron, but it's for the best.

Dammit, why couldn't that show be good? I really liked... everything I've said in previous posts. We almost made it. Damn.

This is the Jump.

iPod Wins Again!

Also, a few days ago, the following songs came up in order on my iPod, much to my delight:

Hey Baby, Northwestern University "Wildcat" Marching Band
The Hands That Built America, U2
Elephant Love Medley, Moulin Rouge Soundtrack
Paint it Black, Rolling Stones
Here It Goes Again, OK Go
I, Don Quixote, Man of La Mancha
Find Your Grail, Monty Python's Spamalot
Smoke, Ben Folds Five
Crimson + Gold, Carla Werner
The Long Day is Over, Norah Jones
One Angry Dwarf and 100 Solemn Faces, Ben Folds
The Pony Soldiers, NFL Films
Look Down, Les Miserables
Desire, U2
Heavy, Collective Soul
Tusk, Fleetwood Mac

At the time, this seemed very portentous. Now, I can't remember the connections. In any event, it's rare that I get through 16 songs on shuffle without skipping through stuff. I think the crossword/sudoku probably helped with that, along with me occasionally going "Hm, this really encapsulates how I feel right now," and then not paying attention again. As evidenced by the fact that I felt like "The Long Day is Over," "One Angry Dwarf..." and then the NFL. So, perhaps that theory's bunk. Also interesting is that I have a surprising amount of songs from musicals (we'll count Moulin Rouge in that category) on this list.

So, there's that. Good for you, iPod.

This is the Jump.

I Was On Vacation, I'm Back, I'm Avoiding Work Already

I was waiting for my bags in the Midway Airport baggage claim yesterday, and I was interrupted from my iPod-based reverie by a crazy-eyed, but professionally-dressed woman who asked me how much the baggage carts were, while actually pointing at the price printed on the baggage cart dispenser. It made my answer ($3) a breeze, but was the last tumbler in the mental lock, and I knew I needed to write down what I'd do if I ran an Airline.



Simply put, I'd have a test. And if you passed this test, you'd get a card, or a key, or a password to allow you to join me on my airline of joy and peace, flying to specially-equipped airports. If you want to stratify, we'll add first class, so rich people can still show off. The test will be comprised of the following factors:

• Intelligence: Can you follow somewhat complex directions? Can you manipulate objects in three dimensions without smacking people around, or taking an inordinate amount of time? Failing that, can you ask for help in a competent and polite manner?


• Conversation: Can you avoid talking endlessly about stupid shit? Can you take a hint and leave your seatmate alone if they don't want to talk about your cats, or oil, or the government, or golf, or sports, or big business, or your goiter? If you are talking, can you do it in a tone of voice that doesn't involve everyone in the two rows behind you?


• Odor.


• This one was going to be Attractiveness, but that's really not fair. No, I take it back; that's completely fair. We'll leave it in. I want to fly with people who aren't freaky-looking. Take that, political correctness!


• Creepiness. Can you avoid being freaky to the flight attendants? And other patrons? Do you make people nervous? We'll have our crack team of adjudicators follow you around surreptitiously for a week to see how strangers react around you. That's the plan for the Conversation category, as well.

So, yeah, this isn't fair or equitable, but it's my airline, and I'll be discriminatory if I want to. And perhaps we'll weight it so if you smell somewhat weird, but aren't creepy, we'll let you on board. If you pass the test, and then act like an asshat on the plane, refusing to read signs, or trying to fit a queen-sized mattress in the overhead bin, or something like that, the plane will land immediately, put you off on the tarmac, take off again, and serve free drinks to the remaining passengers to make up for you.

The guys behind me talking loudly about how we sold F-16s to Israel and really really simplified foreign policy for three hours? They'll be ejected in mid-air. The people who wouldn't turn off their phones on the way out of Vegas? Placed in the cargo hold, and their phones smashed with hammers. Incapable of figuring out where to go to claim their baggage and what to do when they get there, without running over 35 random people in the process? Fed to wolves.

Additionally, if a member of my staff happens to be walking past a Southwest gate and hears someone in line complaining about their A/B/C system of boarding, they are empowered to strike that passenger with an open hand, at their discretion. It's not like they keep that a secret, idiots. You chose to fly Southwest, and part of the reason that it's cheap is that you deal with being treated like cattle for a few minutes.

This is the Jump.