Perhaps We Define "Exciting" in Different Ways

I said I'd do it, so here it is, the first... 15 things I can think of that are more exciting than the aforementioned "Most Exciting [whatever] Minutes in College Athletics." I've actually decided to limit myself to things in sports college "athletics" that last longer than 2 minutes and fewer than 6.* This, unfortunately removes these favorite things that don't take long enough*:

1. A safety caused by intentional grounding in the end zone.
2. A safety caused by holding in the end zone.
3. A safety caused by snapping the ball over the punter's head. (Extra credit if it's through the goal posts)
4. Smashing the backboard glass on a dunk. (Though the replacement takes a while...)
5. Smashing the glass at a hockey game with a puck. (See above)
6. The second ending to Push On. (Whatever, it's cooler than The Ex-Chief.)
7. Anything ending in "rooskie."
8. "It's a fake! It's a funny looking fake."
9. Flippy Cup

That said, the following things are more exciting than that thing with the touchy-toes and whatnot:

1. A vast majority of pre-game video montages, most of which lately seem to be scored with the theme from Pirates of the Carribbean.
2. Any play involving multiple laterals.
3. Any band marching into any stadium anywhere.
4. Rushing the field/court.
5. Whenever they blow up an old stadium.
6. Successive fast breaks in basketball. (There'd have to be, like, 4, wouldn't there? That'd be more exciting.)
7. Hockey shootouts. (They have these in college, right?)
8. Recognizing a college athlete in a college bar, and seeing him/her navigate people. Especially if they have the "C'mon, recognize me!" look going.
9. A member of the team conducts the band. Ususally something good has just happened, and everybody's giddy. This is very underrated.
10. On that same note, that one time Willie the Wildcat played drum set during basketball band. That was great.
11. People performing in capacities they have no business performing in. (Ex.: Punter/Kicker throwing passes, basketball player in a dress, linebackers playing "Chubby Bunny.")
12. 4 minutes of an actual football game.
13. Any pivotal baseball/softball at-bat.
14. Coaches going ape-shit on officials.
15. 4 minutes of Joe Paterno falling down.

I was going to say 4 minutes of any sporting event, and then I was going to qualify that, but it turned into this hellish Venn Diagram of scenarios. So, just roll with me on swimming, lacrosse, soccer, basketball, tennis, racquetball, frisbee, squash, field hockey, fencing, and team handball. Diving, shorter track-and-field events, archery, and other things that happen in quick bursts don't fall into this category. Archery, shooting, and the javelin only count if you're being chased by the archers, gunmen, or javelinas^.

Also, I didn't want to go all low-blow and pick other parts of marching band things, but really? Script Ohio isn't more exciting? The imminent death of Double Correct Rights, or the Floating Lion thing PSU does? Anything involving a drum major doing something bizarre? Hell, the Florida State Seminole uses fire! The Ex-Chief just wanders around like a nancy.

Nor did I want to go low-blow on the mascot or tradition thing, because that's pretty subjective, too. Goldy the Gopher spins his head. That'd be bizarre for 4 minutes. A 4-minute mascot fight would be pretty exciting.

Anyway, I'm glad that's over. I thought of a lot of things that were too brief*, which made this more difficult than I expected. Plus, when I started removing things that I thought might be too subjective (maybe people think the Script Ohio is overrated, I don't know) it got pretty hard*.

As always, I accept suggestions on what else is more exciting than the self-proclaimed "most exciting 4 minutes in all of college athletics." I'm positive I missed things.

*Har har.
^Yes, I know what a javelina is. Shut up.