File under "A" for "Aaaagh"

Here's what I'm going to do. When there is an accident on the highway, I'm going to sit on the opposite side of the road, with the following items:

A digital camera
Rollerblades
A stopwatch

Whenever someone looks at the accident for more than 35 seconds, and/or slows down significantly to see it, I will skate over there with take a picture of them, and their license plate and skate away. When I have tired of this, I will take their license plates, find out where they live and show up to their houses with the following items:

Locusts

Or failing that:

Bees

And I will fill their mailbox. If they do not have a mailbox, or their mailbox is inaccessible, I will put the locusts or bees in a box marked "Dean and Deluca," and leave it on their doorstep.